A New Week

I'm not the most organized, regimented or controlling person in the world. I'm ok with that. I think it's part of why my marriage, parenting style and household work.

It's been an interesting combination to be so relaxed and trying to help Violet with the potty learning thing at the same time... Being so open, I wasn't really pushing or "training" her, but had become very aware of the signs that she was "ready" and went ahead and decided on Tuesday afternoon to get her "big girl panties" and have "the conversation" with her. She (of course) picked on Princess Panties (if you read this, but don't FaceBook, princesses are her OBSESSION right now - especially Aurora, Belle and Cinderella together) and was R.E.A.D.Y. to put them on Wednesday morning. By noon on Wednesday, I was exhausted and rethinking this direction. But not that Violet! She is totally committed to this and although she has varying success, has a complete breakdown any time we even discuss putting on a diaper unless she is going to bed for the night.

In light of trying to be supportive of Violet's determination, we have pressed onward. I've become acutely aware that my frustration when we have an "accident" is often directed more at myself then at her as "I should have been paying more attention" or "I should have known better." I want so badly for her to feel successful and am very much aware that at this young age, the potty thing is honestly more my responsibility then her's. Can I just say: I love diapers. Makes life so much easier.

So in the midst of all of that, accompanied by the onset of feeling some loneliness after being away from friends for 4 weeks, magnified by the box or two still left unpacked in every room of my house... I let everything fall apart.
Have let the mail pile up - knowing that there were bills that need to be paid in the pile.
Have let the dishes pile up - knowing that the dishwasher could easily be emptied and reloaded.
Have let the cleaning go undone - knowing that the dust and ick were only contributing to my feeling "down."
Have let us do next to nothing - knowing that the sitting around only exacerbated Violet's frustrating behaviors and "hyperness."

So. Today, following what I can only assume was a bit of a depressing conversation with a dear friend, I realized: I am so lucky to have people who love me enough to listen to me moan and groan. I am so lucky to have a little girl who wants to play with me even when I'm not my best Momma self. I am so lucky to have a husband who doesn't say a word about the mess our home is becoming. I am so lucky to have a Lord who loves me despite my bad attitude. I am so lucky to have a new week ahead of me to make the most of.

And so, I did something that I don't enjoy. I sat down, and against my "natural" nature, made a chore and activity schedule. It was almost comical to me to realize that as I got to scheduling Thursday and Friday, I almost didn't have ENOUGH work to stretch over the 5 days of the week. I allow myself to feel so overwhelmed with "everything I have to do," but when I look at it as Baby Steps, with a little routine and planning, I can accomplish what I need to within the next 5 days! I probably wouldn't want to live my life like this forever, but for today...

...it gave me HOPE!

We'll see how this week goes, but I am reminded of how fortunate I am and how with God's Blessing I am the one who controls what I do with the time He has given me. So.... Let's see how this week goes!